i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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