Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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