Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
