well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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