My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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