I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
