I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
