got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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