My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
