i barfeds in our rink
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
