i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i think i have two assholes
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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