So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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