at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
