I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
