But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
