goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
