u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
