So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
