oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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