I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
