return my video game
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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