i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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