Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
