I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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