she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
