So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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