I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
