Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
