Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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