I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i wish my penis had a tongue
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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