My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
