Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
