NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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