cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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