Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
