someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
