omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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