There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
