Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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