dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize