OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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