i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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