i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
