dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You're like the curious george of whores
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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