Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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