We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Can I color on your dick again?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
