How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
