Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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