Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
