There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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