I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
