porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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