There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
