Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
