mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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