Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
