D3 body, D1 cock
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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