I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
