worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
