i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
