Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
