So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
