Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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