I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
try to milk me bitch
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