Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
