and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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