bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
