I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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