We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
