She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
